Thursday, July 29, 2010

Jelly Belly to Introduce Line of Semen-Flavored Jelly Beans

Candymaking company Jelly Belly revealed this morning that, in 2011, it will unveil an entirely new line of jelly beans. While jelly belly has always been at the forefront of unorthodox jelly bean flavoring--popcorn? margarita?--its new line promises to be the most controversial yet, as the candies will not be fruit-flavored, or even food-flavored at all. The candies will taste like different types of semen.

The line--called "Jizzy Beans"--will offer several different varieties of semenic taste. "Carnivore," "vegeterian," "only drinks water and eats vitamins," and "very ill" are all included.

"We want eating jelly beans to be a thoroughly rich and unique experience, like life," claimed a spokesman for Jelly Belly. "And like in life, you gotta take the good with the bad."

Jizzy Beans will be offered at Walgreens, CVS, Ricky's, Sephora, J. Crew, and Home Depot.


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