Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Red is No Longer a Color

The International Academy of Color (IAOC) published a report today that broached a controversial topic for the first time since the Middle Ages: Whether red is a color. IOAC takes the position that red is not a color, but "an offset of infrared."

"It's really very technical," Wayne Gretzky, the current President of IAOC commented on the Today Show. "The fact that red is not a color isn't going to change anyone's relationship with red. You can still see it. It's just, scientifically, it doesn't meet the definition of a color. A color's wavelength must be between 400nm and 690 nm. Beyond 690 nm, not a color. Something else."

"Something else? Like what?" asked host Regis Philbin.


"And what's infrared?"

"More like a microwave than a color. I don't mean to cause trouble--but watch out for red, I guess is what the IAOC wants to say. Red isn't just pretty to look at. It can cook your food, if you're not careful.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Sorbonne to Build "Warren G. Harding Dining Hall."

Paris-Sorbonne University, one of the successor universities of the Sorbonne, announced early Wednesday that the construction of their new dining hall will begin June 3rd. The hall, which will be built in the modernist style, will be named "Warren G. Harding Dining Hall," after the only United States President to hold a degree from the Sorbonne (Arts & Science, 1884).

"Warren Harding was quite a scholar, and he did very well here," said the President of the University, who asked to remain anonymous. "His senior thesis was on the differences between Beowulf and all of French literature. There are, as Harding discovered, a lot of them."

"It's a shame we waited this long to build Harding Dining Hall," remarked the Bursar, who is also the President's wife. "Such great things can go unnoticed."

Warren G. Harding Dining Hall will open for service in Fall 2013. It will serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner.