Saturday, May 22, 2010

Third Street Bazaar Closed 6 Years Ago - Just Kidding

Six years ago, the venerable NYU-area New York City institution, the Third Street Bazaar, shut its doors and came back from the dead as an Ace Hardware. Third Street Bazaar sold generations of NYU students dorm room staples, such as multicolored hanging beads, rice lights, and fanciful plastic dishware. Its closure sent everyone running to Surprise Surprise, across town on Third Avenue.

Just kidding.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Empire State Building to be Gutted, Turned into World's Tallest Gay Bar

Marolda Properties has finalized plans to dramatically change this New York City landmark--in August 2010, construction will begin on the project, which involves gutting the entire building to make it one large atrium, and outfitting the room with several bars, dance floors, and strobe lights. "We believe there is an underservered market," commented the management company, "And right now, there are too many office buildings in the area and not nearly enough gay bars with very tall ceilings. We believe midtown is home to quite a few very tall gay men who often have to slouch just to take part in bar festivities with their friends."

In 1998, there were similar plans for the World Trade Center, but we all know how that ended.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Prince and Kelly Clarkson Marry

Prince and Kelly Clarkson have gotten married. The two met at a yoga retreat on Prince Edward Island in 2003, and began a slow and chaste courtship mostly centered on chess-by-mail and virtual flowers.

The wedding took place at City Hall in Toronto. Present were Prince, Kelly Clarkson, LaToya Jackson, Dennis Kucinich, and Dick Cheney. The couple will reside in New York City in the winter and Tuscon in the summer.