Trader Joe's to Sell Maggots

Hip specialty grocery store Trader Joe's issued a press release late Saturday night, stating its intention to add maggots to its arsenal of offerings. According to the press release, customers have been requesting maggots for the past year. Upscale competitor Whole Foods has offered maggots for several months, and they have apparently sold well.

Trader Joe's will sell maggots in the following forms: Frozen, fresh, dried, pulverized (as a jam), minced (as a salsa), juiced (as a beverage, a la Clamato), and sugared (as dessert). While Whole Foods offers maggot beauty products such as shampoo, conditioner, face cream, toothpaste, body wash, nail polish, and feminine hygiene rinse, Trader Joe's wrote that at this time, the store will only offer maggot products that are edible.

"Maggots are an excellent source of protein," explained the press release, "and locavores in soil-poor but garbage-rich areas have been eating them and truly enjoying them. We thought we'd spread the cheer."


(SOURCE)

Third Street Bazaar Closed 6 Years Ago - Just Kidding

Six years ago, the venerable NYU-area New York City institution, the Third Street Bazaar, shut its doors and came back from the dead as an Ace Hardware. Third Street Bazaar sold generations of NYU students dorm room staples, such as multicolored hanging beads, rice lights, and fanciful plastic dishware. Its closure sent everyone running to Surprise Surprise, across town on Third Avenue.

Just kidding.