The Grand Duke of Switzerland, Heimlich K. Maneuver, announced late Saturday night that Switzerland is abandoning the CHF in favor of what he called "a return to the peaceful values of trading goods and services for goods and services."
"Listen," he said, shaking his head. "We're tired of all this banking bullshit. We're closing all the banks and turning them into gardens. The gardens will grow flowers and foodstuffs. We will trade the flowers and foodstuffs. Tomorrow morning, the Swiss franc will be worth zilch."
Grand Duke Heimlich K. Maneuver, a world-renowned expert in the fields of Economics, Policy, and Fencing, holds advanced degrees from the University of Phoenix and the University of the Ozarks. His Facebook page lists his hobbies, which include: "war games," "knowing when to hold/knowing when to fold," and "receiving fellatio :)"
(SOURCE)
Showing posts with label fellatio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fellatio. Show all posts
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Newt Gingrich Admits to Having Fellated a Pigeon
Thursday night, during the Republican Primary debate, Newt Gingrich shocked voters and his fellow candidates by admitting that in his youth, he had once performed fellatio on a pigeon.
"It was 1955," Gingrich said, waving his hand as though to dismiss his behavior. "Who didn't do something nutty? I was bored, and it was right there, and well, you know how boys are. This in no way has anything to do with my ability to function as President of the United States. In fact, I wager Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and both Roosevelts did the very same thing in their youth-times. It's not that abnormal. It's really not."
Gingrich's admission was in response to moderator Dan Quayle's question, "what is the worst thing you've ever done?"
Mitt Romney answered that he twice shat in his neighbor's mailbox--once in 1996, and once in 1998. "I'm really sorry," he said, shaking his head.
Rick Santorum sighed and admitted to having once fantasized about being gang-banged. "I was a young, wayward lad" he explained, "growing up in a godless country."
Ron Paul answered the question by removing his shirt.
(SOURCE)
"It was 1955," Gingrich said, waving his hand as though to dismiss his behavior. "Who didn't do something nutty? I was bored, and it was right there, and well, you know how boys are. This in no way has anything to do with my ability to function as President of the United States. In fact, I wager Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and both Roosevelts did the very same thing in their youth-times. It's not that abnormal. It's really not."
Gingrich's admission was in response to moderator Dan Quayle's question, "what is the worst thing you've ever done?"
Mitt Romney answered that he twice shat in his neighbor's mailbox--once in 1996, and once in 1998. "I'm really sorry," he said, shaking his head.
Rick Santorum sighed and admitted to having once fantasized about being gang-banged. "I was a young, wayward lad" he explained, "growing up in a godless country."
Ron Paul answered the question by removing his shirt.
(SOURCE)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)