Editors of Time Magazine, National Geographic, The Christian Science Monitor, and the Economist unanimously voted ancient Assyrian King Tiglath-Pileser III as the most important historical figure of all time. All four publications will feature Tiglath-Pileser on the covers of their September issues.
Tiglath-Pileser III was a prominent King of Assyria in the 8th Century B.C.E. He is credited with, among other heroics, synthesizing heroin, building all the ziggurats by hand, inventing fabric, playing the guitar very well, revolutionizing sexual intercourse, inventing the concept of rhyming, bringing healthy food to the masses, and having almost no body odor, which was especially notable for the times. Tiglath-Pileser III, who preferred to go by "Tiglat," was known among friends as "an all around stand-up guy," according to historical documents written in cuneiform.
Other historical figures in the running were: Emilio Aguinaldo, Filipino revolutionary and prolific knitter; several Russian hockey players with long names; the dentist; and Art K. Prager, an especially skilled custodian of a suburban Florida elementary school.
(SOURCE)
Showing posts with label history. Show all posts
Showing posts with label history. Show all posts
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Shakespeare Discovered to Have Been a Pigeon
Scholars at Oxford University announced today that they have found incontrovertible evidence that William Shakespeare--the most highly esteemed bard of the English language--was actually not a man, but a pigeon.
For decades, Shakespeare's true identity has been a question. Some scholars postulated that he was really a woman, or that he was really Christopher Marlowe writing under a pen name. But the age-old mysteries of certain claw marks and pigeon droppings on the first drafts of "Macbeth," "The Tempest," "Titus Andronicus" and "Julius Caesar" provided integral clues as to the poet's avian nature.
At first, the researchers believed that Shakespeare had simply kept pet pigeons. But DNA analysis of the pigeon droppings revealed that all droppings came from the same bird, and that the ink Shakespeare used was actually dyed pigeon dung. Handwriting analysis further revealed that some of Shakespeare's letter formations could only have been written with dancing clawfeet.
Says Queen Elizabeth II of England, "This certainly explains a lot."
(SOURCE)
For decades, Shakespeare's true identity has been a question. Some scholars postulated that he was really a woman, or that he was really Christopher Marlowe writing under a pen name. But the age-old mysteries of certain claw marks and pigeon droppings on the first drafts of "Macbeth," "The Tempest," "Titus Andronicus" and "Julius Caesar" provided integral clues as to the poet's avian nature.
At first, the researchers believed that Shakespeare had simply kept pet pigeons. But DNA analysis of the pigeon droppings revealed that all droppings came from the same bird, and that the ink Shakespeare used was actually dyed pigeon dung. Handwriting analysis further revealed that some of Shakespeare's letter formations could only have been written with dancing clawfeet.
Says Queen Elizabeth II of England, "This certainly explains a lot."
(SOURCE)
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