Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Jonas Brothers Arrested For Gang Raping A Salad; Charges Dropped

The teen sensation siblings known as the Jonas Brothers dined on lunch this afternoon at Los Angeles neighborhood staple, Applebees. The three young men decided to split the California Shrimp Salad, and when their server brought it to the table, the brothers proceeded to pull off their pants and copulate with the salad.

"It was unreal," commented the server, a gentleman by the name of Sergio. "Like, I had no idea what was going on. Was it a joke? For reality TV or something. I turned around and ran away."

Other diners snapped pictures with their cell phones as the brothers Jonas continued to pillage the pile of greens and crustacean meat. Finally, three members of the LAPD entered the restaurant and handcuffed the brothers. Kevin Jonas began to cry, Nick Jonas claimed he was only watching, and Joe Jonas managed to violently kick the salad, which, spurned and crestfallen, tumbled to the floor.

At the police station, the brothers agreed to autograph everyone's tshirts in exchange for all charges being dropped. They promised to never order salad again.

No comments:

Post a Comment