Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Cher Commits Suicide

Singer/Actress/Aging Ingenue Cher took her own life this morning, by eating a brillo pad soaked in arsenic.

Cher left a perfumed, handwritten note, stating only "I have become very bored: Screw U!" She was wearing a black leather sweatsuit and Gucci sunglasses.

According to her will, her considerable fortune will be buried at sea.

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