US Invests in High-Speed Walking (HSW)

The Obama administration announced today that it will invest four million dollars in a High-Speed Walking initiative throughout the country.

"We keep hearing about this 'high speed rail' thing," the President said. "But I took a trip to Kansas the other day and it took me an hour to walk across the hotel lobby because everyone else was so slow and so fat. In New York--in Washington--in Boston--in Philadelphia--people achieve speeds of up to five miles per hour when they walk." The President pointed to a graph. "Look at this. Just look at this. In Mississippi, not one person has walked faster than a quarter mile per hour in thirty years!"

The HSW initiative has two parts: 1) awareness, which will consist mostly of billboards and television spots; and 2) infrastructure, which will consist of sidewalks that are paved with hot coals, as to encourage high speed walking.

Walking is one of the greenest forms of transportation. High-speed walking is especially efficient. Trained and specialized high-speed walkers often achieve speeds comparable to that of roller skaters.

(SOURCE)