Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Turkmenistan to Require All Homes to Have Swimming Pools by 2017

The people of Turkmenistan voted this week to require all homes to have swimming pools installed by 2017. President Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow announced that he was pleased with this decision and that it showed that Turkmenistan is "on the upswing."

"Before now," he said, in front of an audience of voters, "People worldwide did not associate our country with swimming, tanning, wading, or hanging out in a pool. That's one of the reasons tourism has 'dried up' since the silk road was a thing." Berdimuhamedow giggled. "Get it?????"

Uzbekistan issued a press release condemning their historical rival. It read:

As usual, Turkmenistan doesn't get it.
Tajikstan has maintained an uncharacteristic silence on this issue. Turkmenistan's main ally in the international front, Eritrea, sent a congratulatory tweet: "great idea! pools are fun."

Balfour Beatty has been contracted to build all the pools in one fell swoop. The day of build is October 29.


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