President Barack Obama announced today, first to the Senate and then to the media, that he plans to "throw away all that musty old furniture" that currently graces the White House and to purchase "a bunch of those beddinge things you can get at Ikea."
The beddinge is IKEA's best selling product, with over 900,000 sold per week in the United States alone. In the May 2011 Sofas! magazine, Kathie Lee Gifford weighed in on the product: "The beddinge is the best couch and the best bed. It's the best piece of furniture in my house. I can't imagine why anyone would not want one."
"They're really nice," the President said, realizing he needed to explain himself after his announcement was received with stunned silence. "Utilitarian. You can sit on them, lie on them, whatever. Eat on them, if you stack them. And we're gonna, because I just threw away the kitchen table. These things are useful in so many ways! They're a good symbol for our hard times. We all must make sacrifices. Plus, all this spending--it's my private money, you know--helps the American economy."
When reminded that IKEA is actually a Swedish company, the President waved his hand and countered, "shut up."